I’m not sure whether this is the right place for this question, but… How do you know?
Like, I would 100% be a woman if I could choose. I also always play a female character in games. When I see a girl I feel a strong sexual attraction, but I also feel jealous of her.
But, I’m honestly not sure if I am not cisgendered. I feel like I missed the boat. I also don’t know if I am sure enough. Is this impostor syndrome? How do I know it’s not just sexual attraction? Or me being unhappy with the role men have in this world? Or me being depressed otherwise? It all seems like a big tangled mess.
Thanks a lot for all the comments. I made an appointment with my GP next week and hope that he can refer me to a therapist. All the best to you all <3
I don’t have any answers for you, but I just wanted to let you know you’re definitely not the only one.
Thank you! And best of luck to everyone!
Often, people who ask this question already know the answer, deep down. In those cases, the issue isn’t so much that they don’t know the answer, but rather that they’re afraid of the consequences of accepting that answer.
And to me, it sounds like maybe you do know the answer…
This was a big break through point for me. It was never a question of if I was a girl but rather if I was strong enough to handle being exposed as such. Once I understood my fear it was only a matter of courage. Now I’m still not perfect but I’m much more genuine now than I’ve ever been before.
By the way OP, I started transitioning at 36. It’s never too late.
There’s no one easy way that works for everyone to be sure. You have to find your own answer. Being trans isn’t an externally measurable truth, it’s something only you can ever know. I knew after I transitioned and then briefly detransitioned. The 2 months I spent off hormones was almost 6 years ago. I’ve never once regretted retransitioning. I didn’t know for sure, I took 2 months off hormones and using my deadname, and it was never a question for me again. The pain I felt every time I heard that name told me everything I needed to know. But for me thats what it took to be sure. Self doubt lingered for me even after starting HRT and changing my name and pronouns.
But thats only me, and everyone has their own unique experiences of self-acceptance. You have to introspect. Open yourself to the possibility that you’re not cisgender, and ask yourself what it is you really want to be, who you really want to be to yourself and to everyone else. Try using different pronouns. Try going by a different name. Dress differently, do things you want to do but have always felt like you couldn’t. Play with your expression and presentation. Do things that make you feel great, and things that make you feel great about yourself.
I don’t really have anything to add, other than I feel like I’m in the same, or a similar, boat. “I kinda think I’m trans but that’s a big commitment and what if I’m wrong” sums me up
What do you mean by “I feel like I missed the boat”?
