Anakin, you’re breaking my heart

Trump dies during a lib Jan 6th and a civil war breaks out is on someone’s parlay somewhere out there as a 1:1,000,000 payout and they put $10,000 on it.

Every other political philosophy is dogshit dogwater bullshit. Communism will win. Free Palestine.

And somebody has to be the funniest person here. I don’t know what you’d do without me.

I thought you got banned or whatever

Yeah, if NATO goes away and algorithms are mildly less shitty then I get two wins the way I see it.

When I managed to escape the anglosphere for a while I remember going to restaurants where I would order something and they’d be like “Naa, we don’t have it.” It was really quite refreshing and it was a joy for me to just get what was convenient to cook as opposed to having some complicated logistical system to get me a treat. I want to patronize more taverns where they give me a bowl of what’s hot for a silver coin.

idk, maybe something in the title about it being fake? I think it’s a type of expression more than a rule to follow.

Election night was like an unskippable cutscene that was decided the moment the DNC torpedoed Bernie. Either they lose in 2020 or they megalose in 2024.

It’s like watching your manager eat shit because they thought people actually enjoyed their “leadership style.” It’s like demanding that I vote for a pizza party when the opposition is offering to punch my manager in the face (while, of course, your boss gets richer no matter what). If I didn’t have an education in communism fall like providence from the magical good rectangle and tell me to install linux, then red-brown alliance would really hit the spot.

I heard infrequently about Ethan Klein and how Hasan had the kid who likes One Piece on interview. That, along with the rest, sounds like the dumbest drama on the face of the Earth. If I’m going to hear something about Hasan all I want to hear is how much he’s benching nowadays

they kept Hasan off? Deeply unserious

That shit really makes my blood boil. I work tirelessly at Langley to prevent that exact thing from happening! If a leftist is posting too good then I report them to get injected with cringe takes and nanobots. You think I’m just twiddling my thumbs if someone starts rocking the boat??? Sincerely, fuck you!

I have a bunch of coworkers who love using .world too! They sort of look at me funny because I have to monitor “that website where the pig shits itself.” But .world and Langley are literally on the same side so it’s extra hurtful when they belittle my job like that. It feels like a betrayal, honestly…

That hypothesis bothers me because why wouldn’t you just lie again? Ocrumbo lied. You could cut a sweetheart deal with a tech company and make out like a bandit by offering to break up tech companies, releasing a cryptocurrency, and reneging once you’re in office for doing one (1) popular thing.

The most lethal military? The photo ops with border control? 25k first time homebuyers credit? Israel?? What the fuck are they talking about???

The dems really arouse that “I don’t know if you’re fucking with me” anxiety response in me. There are people whose full time job is to report on them, to strategize with them, and to help them organize events. So they really spend millions of dollars on projects that are DOA on purpose? If you weren’t joking, why wouldn’t you look at any poll and do anything popular? Why am I capable of putting together a better strategy because I looked at memes? You stand to gain a bunch of money and power if you win. Therefore you must be joking. But if you’re joking, then these people and their livelihoods are a farce? You organize a make up crew, outfits, strategies, debates, voice coaching, audience coaching, etc. for shits and giggles? What the fuck are you talking about???

Sorry, I spent it on a few of those weighted stuffed animals. The computer room here at Langley makes me anxious so I asked for more funding.

it would be so funny if Trump gets pushed left.

Trump joins FDR as one of only 2 presidents who won more than 2 elections

oh fuck, that’s right. I totally missed the vice debate.

It’s simple you put an election caption above a Lebron highlight reel and I laugh out loud:

Trump when he has to campaign against a woman

Hitler if he ran for president in the US